


The Wandering Soul Knows No Rest

by PanWithPlans



Series: Kingdom Hearts: An Introspection [3]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: :), Autistic Braig, Autistic Even, Autistic Vexen, Braig is a good friend, Braig/Even isn't really there, Even needs order and that's ok, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, but it could be, but sometimes you need to compromise, may be in the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23622400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanWithPlans/pseuds/PanWithPlans
Summary: Even had a system, he liked his system.It had worked for years, but sometimes things cause the system to crumble.He was fine, really.It was fine.
Relationships: Braig/Even (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Kingdom Hearts: An Introspection [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1641547
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	The Wandering Soul Knows No Rest

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hydration](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20076805) by [IWillFindThePiecesOneByOne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWillFindThePiecesOneByOne/pseuds/IWillFindThePiecesOneByOne). 



> tw: Panic Attack, not explicit but still described

For Even, everything had a method. Whether it was an experiment or where His Mug lived, it had its order.

That’s the way it was and the way it should be.

He liked it that way.

And everyone in Radiant Garden had accepted that, though it took getting stabbed with a scalpel for Braig to understand that.

He could find His Mug, locate any document easily and it was fine.

Ansem would say it wasn’t.

Sure he would stay awake for days with little food and water because _‘I’m on the verge of a breakthrough! I will be finished shortly,’_ or he had experiments that could not be paused without catastrophic results. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t fine.

It was just how he worked. It was his system, how he had worked for years.

So the years went by and Even would have his order and he would have his work.

And it was fine.

**…**

**…**

**…**

Then Even became Vexen, and suddenly he could go without any sleep or any food. It was like a dream for him, no longer having to waste valuable time that could be spent making new discoveries.

But the new Nobodies didn’t understand his system.

Demyx would whisk His Mug away and returns with a larger glass of water rather than his favoured green tea.

Axel would push his papers around and sit on one of the lab tables, would disrupt his focus and distract him from his research.

Larxene would just fucking stab him.

It was wrong in so many ways, and if Vexen had emotions, he would have broken.

But he didn’t have emotions, so he didn’t break.

And he was fine.

…

…

…

Then Vexen died, and Even was reborn.

But things still weren’t right.

The organisation had his research, his life's work. And he needed it. Couldn’t live with the knowledge that somebody else had it.

So Even became Vexen once more.

And he was fine.

…

…

…

Things were different. Vexen was benched, but it allowed him to focus entirely on the Replica project.

The new members left him alone, the only contact usually from Luxord or Saix asking for an update to give to the higher ups.

It was good. He could leave His Mug and have nobody move it, and he could know that the specific piece of paper he needed would be exactly where he had left it.

Everything followed its system.

He could atone for his mistakes and be emotionally stable at the same time.

Demyx agreed to take the replica to Ienzo, he had located Ansem AND he wouldn’t need to actually fight in this war.

All Vexen could do was sit there sipping at his tea, hoping that the guardians beat Xehanort.

His tea was warm, the sun was bright.

And it was fine.

…

…

…

Vexen disappeared for the last time, leaving Even in his wake.

Namine became an apprentice at the lab, and Demyx began to frequent it with nowhere else to go.

And so the water returned, and lab space was lost.

Ienzo, now grown had taken over half of the lab, which contained the bookcase which His Mug normally rested, the faint ring still visible.

Now Even had less space to work and spread out his research, and couldn’t even do it on his own as he had to accommodate for Namine.

Breakthroughs took so much longer, and he had to teach whilst he did it, Demyx all but throwing the damned glass of water at him.

But Even survived, even if it was hurting his mind.

And then it wasn’t fine.

Even had been working on his own project, had gotten himself in the zone, when Demyx had appeared with Namine.

He had thrown the glass at the wall, screaming at them to get out and leave him alone.

A small part of his mind noted his hands shaking as he continued to work. He pushed it into his subconscious.

Then he dropped a test tube over his work.

Even could do nothing as he fell to the floor, pulling at his hair.

It wasn’t fine.

His mug had lost its home, his work was ruined, and he didn’t want the water that ever haunted him.

But nobody could understand that.

And so, after 15 years, Even finally broke.

It wasn’t fine.

It wasn’t fine.

…

…

…

It was Braig who had found a shaking Even on the lab floor.

Before even attempting a conversation, Braig had cleaned up the glass, and cleared the spill, knowing it would help even just a little.

Then Braig had puled his hands down from his hair and smoothed it down to its usual style, replacing the hair with His Mug of green tea.

He didn’t mention the broken glass or the spill over his work, instead just encouraging Even to drink his tea and breathe.

But he couldn’t. It wasn’t right.

“They can’t make it right unless you tell them, and even then, sometimes you have to compromise. Sometimes it can’t be helped, but we can make it easier but giving warning and letting you prepare for it. We all care, Even, you just have to let us help you.”

As Braig spoke, Even did find himself breathing slower, until he felt calm enough to begin sipping at the tea.

“Thank you, Braig.”

“Anytime, Even.”

The lab wasn’t right, and it never would be the same as before, but Even supposes he could eventually tolerate it.

He finished his tea.

And it was fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Demyx bringing water is heavily inspired by Demyx in Hydration (link at the top, I highly recommend it)
> 
> The title is taken from Loveless from final fantasy 7, as I felt it fit Even and his journey in this fic.
> 
> Please feel free to comment any mistakes that I missed :)


End file.
